What do YOU suck at?
Turning resisitance on its head and finding a way in.
Recently, I attended an online writing meetup and our lovely facilitator, Jennifer Pastiloff [ bestselling author of “On Being Human” and “Proof of Life”] provided this prompt to the group: “What do you suck at? Write a “how to” about how not suck at the thing.
I am a recoving perfectionist. I am one of those people who doesn’t want to do anything I might not be instantly proficient, or at least passably adequate at. The fear of looking “stupid” or “incompetent” is strong in this one. Here is my response to this prompt, and the simple, yet challenging answer to “not sucking” at the thing you suck at.
What I suck at: Allowing myself to suck.
How to not suck at allowing myself to suck:
DO THE THING.
Try to find a willingness to sit in the discomfort of imperfection - of coloring outside the lines, and the realization - no, FACT - that you are not required to be an instant master at everything you try. The mere attempt at something can be enjoyable.
After all, it’s just you and “the thing.” There are no judges waiting to tell you, with great glee and scorn, that you win the prize of “worst person ever to try…the thing.” But then you realize that there is a judge and that judge is you. So change your wardrobe from the black robes of “justice” and the sentence of eternal suckitude, into the Garanimals t-shirt and shorts of the child who never knew she sucked at anything, because she didn’t…and DO the thing.
What is the cost of not allowing myself to suck?
Unwillingness of many types is self-limiting. Deciding before you try that you can’t do something, or will suck at it, closes the door on potential. Potential doesn’t mean eventual perfection, it means a step through the doorway to possible joy and discovery. It can prevent new avenues of expression and love. And it can eliminate all possibilities of exploration and flexibility closing the doors to that potential.
What if you still suck? It doesn’t matter, really. Are you enjoying what you are doing? Are you learning something new? Have you been able to let go of that lurking judge in the corner of your mind who whispers self-doubt into your ear? Then you are a success!
The cost of not allowing myself to suck is profound, and it is hard to reflect on what perfectionism and self-judgment has talked me out of doing or trying or even considering. The cost of this rigidity in thinking is the potential of my own self-doubt affecting the willingness of my children to try new things. The cost of this mindset is denial of joy in my life.
Therefore, how to allow yourself to suck is simple: DO THE THING.